The Morality of Foosball: The Debate

Byline: Leo.

NOTE: This article should be approached on a lighter note. Before you begin to read this article, follow the instructions below:

1. Sit back and relax yourself
2. Stretch your jaw muscles
3. Say aloud "I am reading this article to see the lighter side of Foosball"
4. Repeat the above until you fall into a state of hypnosis

Back in high school, I took part in various debates and elocutions at various levels. At the same period, I remember one of the most memorable subjects was Pendidikan Moral (Moral Education), well, because during then we either have free time to fool around in class or we participated in games/quizzes during that period. One of the very few things that I still remember until now is that there were 64 so-called moral values. So, coupled with the above fore mentioned skills that I picked up during high school, I have decided to decode, with some logic and some bull****, the question of morality that lies behind the game of foosball.

The Moral Side

• Patience - You learn to smile and portray a friendly face even though deep inside you're pissed coz your opponent has fluked for the #%$@! thousandth time
• Determination - You play to get your ass kicked over & over again to try to gain back your lost pride
• Friendliness - No matter what the outcome of a game is, most of the time, you get to hear a lot of c*** during the game and laugh along to it
• Value of Money - You realize that RM 2 can amount to quite a bit if you times it with the number of games you play every time you get near a foosball table (try to calculate how much you spend on foosball in a year

The Immoral Side

• Distraction - Foosball can be a distraction to work, study, etc. because you think of it so ever often
• Temptress - Every time you have something to do and the thought of foosball come to mind, you think of how to make a small slot in your busy schedule for foosball
• Value of money - Even though you know RM 2 can amount to quite a bit, you still continue to be addicted
• Foosball widows - As defined in Robert Uyeyama's foosball glossary; Foosball widow:

• A spouse/significant other who is left alone (widowed) while the player is out playing
• A spouse/significant other who hasn't been exposed enough to become addicted to the game

So there it is, the morality of foosball. I wonder if anyone can provide an answer to its addiction. For those of you who are cracked enough to think of more, please do not hesitate to add-on. Till then.